Friday, November 14, 2008

There is a moral to this story.

ALLOW ME TO PAINT YOU A PICTURE WITH MY IMAGINATION BRUSH.

Supposing you are walking home from the bus stop.
On the sidewalk!
It is roughly 8:00 pm.
There are streetlights.
While you are wearing a dark sweatshirt, you are nonetheless clearly visible because you are by happenchance texting while walking (a skill you have, incidentally, only recently mastered) and your phone glows bright enough to be seen from space.
Suppose you should hear the distant whine of a motorcycle behind you!
And see its approaching headlights coming up from behind.

DO YOU:
  1. Despite being roughly ten feet away from the road (this is a wide sidewalk) and despite the fact that said road is completely clear of all other traffic, take a running leap for the nearest ditch on the off chance that the motorcycle is on the sidewalk?
  2. Look cautiously behind you to make sure that approaching motorcycle is in fact on the road and not, say, driving on the sidewalk?
  3. Keep walking in your merry way, comfortable in your knowledge that the universe is a sane and rational place and there is no earthly reason why the motorcycle would be driving on the sidewalk.
If you picked option 3, I am sorry. You have just perished. Or, in my case, escaped with a minor bruise after getting sideswiped by a handlebar going approximately 3,457 mph (at a conservative estimate) and abruptly acquired gray hair. Option 2 would have been a much better choice, although at the speed that the sucker was going, you'd have been better off with option 1.

Such is the life.

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